It's a Friday night and you look across a steamy dance floor and spot a cute guy flashing a glance in your general direction. You're thinking... Is he looking at me or the girl next to me or the girl next to her and so on? You try to catch his eye again, but as you jostle to get a clear line of sight for a little eye to eye contact with this boot scootin' hottie, he disappears behind your best friend's big fat head as she regales the usual Friday night girl's night out crowd with some lame joke she got via email that day. Does this sound at all familiar? Do you end up spending more time huddled in amongst a group of your single gal pals rather than in the arms of your dream guy? Perhaps that is the biggest hurdle for single women to meeting someone special.

In the past, it has traditionally been single men who drew the short straw in the dating game, but in recent times it would seem that the shoe is slipping its way onto the other foot. Single women are finding it harder and harder to find a man and the competition out there in the dating arena is not getting any easier. As single women suit up for battle every Friday night at the many clubs and bars of the world's cities, they either consciously or subconsciously devise their strategy to stand out in the crowd and hopefully meet Mr. Right. They primp and pose in the mirror at home. They rehearse the various "ice breaker" lines that they'll either be using or responding to over the course of the night. Then just before they head out the door on the mission to find someone, they make what is perhaps a fatal mistake, they call all their available single girlfriends to form what will essentially be an imposing wall of single women that no balanced and down to earth man would attempt to penetrate!  

There is no point in droning on about how bars and clubs are not the "ideal" places for single women to meet the man of their dreams. The fact of the matter is that many single women flock to these places in the vain hope of starting a quality relationship simply because it seems the easiest place to find an abundance of potential partners. This is where the problem for single women starts. You walk into the club flanked by your posse of single gal pals and I can tell you from experience, the first thing that single guys in the club are thinking is how they can strategically breach this imposing fortress of lovely single ladies and actually get the opportunity to have a face to face conversation with just one.

Now, I realise that single women need the support of their friends if they are going to venture out on the town in search of a man. In fact, we all need that little bit of back up in these situations, both guys and gals. The issue is that there seems to be a critical mass of sorts when it comes to bringing along enough backup. No matter whether you are a single guy or single girl, you know how hard it is to make that first move to introduce yourself to a potential partner in any social situation. I think for most ladies, they still expect to be the one being approached, so making that harder for the guy by amassing an army of girlfriends is going to significantly reduce the chances of any advances being made in your direction. That is not to say you need to head out on the town alone, but perhaps choosing your "entourage" a little more carefully may pay off big time!

If I had a dime for every time a single female friend of mine who complained about the Friday night rut they had fallen into, I would probably be lounging on some deserted tropical island right now and not bashing away at this keyboard. Nonetheless, here I bash and there you read. How to escape the Friday night rut that so many of us have created? Ask yourself if you really need to keep re-creating the same Friday night crowd week in and week out? Most importantly, try to choose friends that will approach the night with a positive attitude and not bring the whole vibe down with endless bitter ramblings about the opposite sex and past relationships. This is perhaps one of the big pitfalls in the whole dating process. Surrounding yourself with single friends that have a negative attitude toward life and relationships is only going to make you feel more apprehensive and closed off to potential relationships. People that approach you can usually sense that negativity and will often run from it as soon as they feel it. Sure, we all have friends in our life that are going through tough times occasionally and the right thing to do is support those friends when they need it, but if you notice that they are not pulling themselves up eventually, maybe they are not the best people to bring along when you are trying to build new relationships.

There is no mystical method to meeting your soul mate and don't fall for all the mumbo jumbo about destiny. The simple fact of the matter is that life is random and mostly based on luck. The trick to making the scales tip in your direction is doing your best to create opportunities for luck to happen in your favour. In dating, this means creating opportunities for people to be able to approach you and for you to approach them. It also means creating an environment that is not full of negativity and too much emotional baggage as this will quickly extinguish any sparks that may turn into flames.

So, while I can think of a million better ways to meet a single man than heading out to a club, the fact is that many of you will wind up sitting in your usual pub, club or bar next Friday night looking for Mr. Right. Try taking as much time considering who you take with you as backup as you do getting all dolled up and you might just pickup!

Discuss this article on the forums. (2 posts)